Thursday, October 13, 2011

40ish Professional, Do you give a Sh!t about your appearance? + Kick~Ass Classes for Oct & November!

Tribe of Conscious, Beautiful Geniuses*

Before I get into today's JUICY TOPIC, I have two great classes this October and November if you scroll down. Please check it out and tell your friends. Thank you!

Warning: I may ruffle a few feathers on this subject. Just being honest about what I notice and makes me curious!
I was talking with a plain looking woman in her 40s the other day at a business conference. She had messy hair that needed a cut (split ends everywhere) and a blackish outfit that was far from impressive. She was attractive but nondescript.

I notice tons of women like her in business situations. They know their stuff, seem like pros, but when you look at them all you see is outdated, strangely-paired outfits and a need for self-care, like they've run themselves ragged for their business and that means they're a real business owner. ( I don't know if I intuitively know they're a pro or if I'm picking up on how they feel about themselves — so I don't know if you would think they were a pro going solely from appearance).

The main thing I "get" from these 40-something women is that they come across like they don't give a shit because they know they're good at what they do

They look like the last time they gave a shit was in the '80s or '90s and that it would simply be too much trouble to buy a new outfit because that really doesn't matter, right? That's just being too superficial.

I don't know if it's just me, being the intuitive person I am, but when I talk to these women I get this vibe that's passive aggressive. It's some form of I DON'T GIVE A SHIT (angry/defensive) + I DON'T CARE + I AM OVER QUALIFIED + I DON'T NEED TO IMPRESS YOU + I'M TOO BUSY/TIRED/BROKE TO CARE. Go away, makeup girl. (mutters to herself...Stylist, schmilist, kiss my ass.)

Maybe you wouldn't have the same experience as I do. I seem to only notice it with this particular group of women (fascinating, actually). I also hear this from MEN about women. "She's let herself go — too bad". I think men are very sensitive to this energy. It feels sad. They also comment to me that a woman like this feels defensive. Other women say she feels intimidating.

What I wonder is: Are your potential clients/relationships worth dressing up for? Are you sending out the vibe that you don't give a shit? (Pardon me for being so blunt but dang, someone needs to say it! ) It used to be that one would dress to stand in the presence of royalty. Do you honor others & yourself with your appearance?

Unfortunately this is also the case of many wives and mothers I run into who have lost the spark in their own aliveness that is causing boredom in their life and relationships. They comment on feeling "matronly". They are so wrapped up in kids, business or advancing degrees that they have lost a sense of respect for their own appearance. They have lost the priority of "me time" and the belief that they are valuable, on their own, without jobs or kids or partnerships. They have given up and underneath it is SADNESS, ANGER and a loss of hope that life will ever be fun again.

Whatever those backed up feelings are, whoever is standing in front of you feels it. You can't hide it.

I was going to write about what she said next, but I will save that for my next newsletter/blog post!

What I would LOVE is for you to comment on this in my blog instead of just emailing me and let's talk about this. (Don't get me wrong, I love your emails, but a conversation on a blog is fascinating!) I really, really want to help these women. If it's you, I want to help you. (You know I give a complimentary consult, right? :)

Remember, a few short years ago I felt similar feelings. I felt so old and dowdy.

Are you one of these women? What would help you the most?
Are you a man, noticing this with women? What do you feel? Do you notice this in business situations?

I think sometimes what we judge as "JUDGEMENT" or "criticism" on our part is just a highly refined NOTICING OF ENERGY. We really are wonderful, you know. We really do feel the feelings of others. We do really care. So let's talk about it in a CONSCIOUS CONVERSATION about IMAGE, ALIVENESS and SEX APPEAL.

Loving and appreciating all of you!
SuperNatural Stylist
Image & Aliveness Guru

Best Of the last newsletter:
Here's the message. Revamp.
Revolt against what no longer works.
Let go of your Resistance to change. What doesn't bend, breaks.
DeClutter. Update. Transform. Adapt. Adjust.
BREATHE. A lot. Stretch your body and your mind.
Listen with your Spirit and your Heart.
Why are you here on this planet?


"REALationships: Kicking Drama to the Curb"
Women only, October 27, 7-9pm 4 week class
Class flier here! This class helps you kick drama out of your life, in every area!
If you'd like to host your own REALationships class for your friends or family, contact me.
Incubate an idea, vision or fledgeling business with a feminine approach to launching! A women's mastermind with innovation, intuition and inspiration in a proven business format. Host a class in your business or home in Park City or Salt Lake with Auretha!

Working with Auretha

If you'd like to work with an Image Expert that knows how to help you revamp your image & your sex appeal, check me out! ;)
Here are my Packages, Pricing & Policies.
As the ebullient body transformation coach Amanda Moxley still says to me, "Auretha, EVERYBODY NEEDS YOU!!!"

GET YOUR MOJO BACK. You may just look & feel 15 years younger in the process!

Auretha Callison
SuperNatural Stylist
Image & Aliveness Guru
REALationships Expert
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  1. Auretha, I really have to thank you for this post. I AM starting to see this in me more and more. In my 20s, I used to take so much care in my appearance. I don't know exactly when things changed but I want to be that fabulous sexy me I AM. Thanks!!!

  2. LOVE IT! You gave me super mojo when I turned 50! I was dumpy frumpy before and sharp and classy in 3 days! I will be on TV tomorrow! Thanks for the kick in the pants... you are the best... only wish I could be there to take part in some of your clasess. they sound awesome. Keep doing your magic... we all appreciate it.


  3. As a 40 something professional who has been known to dress in black sacks and carry a bad attitude about makeup, combing hair, accessorizing, etc, I struggle between wanting to make heads turn and wanting to hide in a hole. I'm sure there is a happy medium somewhere in there.
    I remember a shopping experience I had when I was in high school, hanging out in the mall with my gorgeous sister. Big brown eyes, tall, thin. You know the sort. We all hate that girl. We went into a store and the clerk whisked her off to the dressing room, wanting to dress her up like a life-sized Barbie. Without a word to me. I don't know what possessed her to believe that I didn't want to try on clothes, too, but she didn't even acknowledge me. Maybe I was hiding...a kid with glasses who felt fat, I might not have been open to the experience. Who knows? Her behavior reinforced something that was already tearing down my confidence, and it has sadly shaped my shopping experiences for 25 years.
    But enough of that. I've figured some things out since then and I'm not wallowing in it. I've been spending my 40's reinventing myself, or rather, stepping into who I always knew I was, but was afraid to show. In this pursuit, weight has melted off my body, I've found my creative voice, and taken risks. And I'm having fun.
    I bit the bullet and hired Auretha to go shopping with me. It was the experience I wanted back on that day when I went shopping with my sis. People were actually hanging out near the dressing room to see what I was going to put on next. There was a flurry of interest around these flamboyant ladies at the TJ Maxx. I spent more money on clothing than I ever have in one sitting...again, I just had to bite the bullet on that one. As I go out in my new scarves, new tops, new dresses, I feel so much more put together. I'm spending a little more time on my hair and makeup every morning. I'm thinking about what I look like.
    It isn't to impress anyone. I'm not wearing makeup to get boys to like me, or dressing for attention. But I can tell you that when I dress like I give a sh*t (as Auretha so delicately put it), people seem to receive me more openly. Then they give a sh*t.
    I'm not going to say that Auretha has changed me from an ugly duckling to a beautiful swan...I'm doing that on my own. But sometimes, you need a coach at the right time, just to help you fly in the right direction.

  4. Auretha,
    I agree. I don't know if it's that we don't care about our appearance but more of "we're worn out". The 20's were fun an naive but the 30's were a little wearing trying so hard to accomplish everything we wanted to accomplish and now that we're there we're exhausted!

  5. Thank you SO much commenting! I love everything you all said. I love how what we are talking about is really the energy of loving yourself, don't you think? Do I care enough about me to show up and to enjoy showing up??
    Girls that have worked with me, thanks for sharing how things are going for you! It's exciting to me to watch people blossom into their true selves.
    Love, Auretha


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Love, Auretha