Tribe of Conscious, Beautiful Geniuses*
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Warning: I may ruffle a few feathers on this subject. Just being honest about what I notice and makes me curious!
I was talking with a plain looking woman in her 40s the other day at a business conference. She had messy hair that needed a cut (split ends everywhere) and a blackish outfit that was far from impressive. She was attractive but nondescript.
I notice tons of women like her in business situations. They know their stuff, seem like pros, but when you look at them all you see is outdated, strangely-paired outfits and a need for self-care, like they've run themselves ragged for their business and that means they're a real business owner. ( I don't know if I intuitively know they're a pro or if I'm picking up on how they feel about themselves — so I don't know if you would think they were a pro going solely from appearance).
The main thing I "get" from these 40-something women is that they come across like they don't give a shit because they know they're good at what they do
They look like the last time they gave a shit was in the '80s or '90s and that it would simply be too much trouble to buy a new outfit because that really doesn't matter, right? That's just being too superficial.
I don't know if it's just me, being the intuitive person I am, but when I talk to these women I get this vibe that's passive aggressive. It's some form of I DON'T GIVE A SHIT (angry/defensive) + I DON'T CARE + I AM OVER QUALIFIED + I DON'T NEED TO IMPRESS YOU + I'M TOO BUSY/TIRED/BROKE TO CARE. Go away, makeup girl. (mutters to herself...Stylist, schmilist, kiss my ass.)
Maybe you wouldn't have the same experience as I do. I seem to only notice it with this particular group of women (fascinating, actually). I also hear this from MEN about women. "She's let herself go — too bad". I think men are very sensitive to this energy. It feels sad. They also comment to me that a woman like this feels defensive. Other women say she feels intimidating.
What I wonder is: Are your potential clients/relationships worth dressing up for? Are you sending out the vibe that you don't give a shit? (Pardon me for being so blunt but dang, someone needs to say it! ) It used to be that one would dress to stand in the presence of royalty. Do you honor others & yourself with your appearance?Unfortunately this is also the case of many wives and mothers I run into who have lost the spark in their own aliveness that is causing boredom in their life and relationships. They comment on feeling "matronly". They are so wrapped up in kids, business or advancing degrees that they have lost a sense of respect for their own appearance. They have lost the priority of "me time" and the belief that they are valuable, on their own, without jobs or kids or partnerships. They have given up and underneath it is SADNESS, ANGER and a loss of hope that life will ever be fun again.
Whatever those backed up feelings are, whoever is standing in front of you feels it. You can't hide it.
I was going to write about what she said next, but I will save that for my next newsletter/blog post!
What I would LOVE is for you to comment on this in my blog instead of just emailing me and let's talk about this. (Don't get me wrong, I love your emails, but a conversation on a blog is fascinating!) I really, really want to help these women. If it's you, I want to help you. (You know I give a complimentary consult, right? :)
Remember, a few short years ago I felt similar feelings. I felt so old and dowdy.
Are you one of these women? What would help you the most?
Are you a man, noticing this with women? What do you feel? Do you notice this in business situations?
I think sometimes what we judge as "JUDGEMENT" or "criticism" on our part is just a highly refined NOTICING OF ENERGY. We really are wonderful, you know. We really do feel the feelings of others. We do really care. So let's talk about it in a CONSCIOUS CONVERSATION about IMAGE, ALIVENESS and SEX APPEAL.
Loving and appreciating all of you!
Image & Aliveness Guru
Best Of the last newsletter:
Here's the message. Revamp.
Revolt against what no longer works.
Let go of your Resistance to change. What doesn't bend, breaks.
DeClutter. Update. Transform. Adapt. Adjust.
BREATHE. A lot. Stretch your body and your mind.
Listen with your Spirit and your Heart.
Why are you here on this planet?
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GET YOUR MOJO BACK. You may just look & feel 15 years younger in the process!Auretha Callison
Image & Aliveness Guru
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